After I finally finished my online school coursework, I almost broke into song. Wait, I did break into song....it was Britney Spears' 'Hit Me Baby One More Time'. That's kind of an indicator of exactly how
crazy school makes me. Fortunately this is not going to be a post about Britney Spears' fashion sense. If it was, we would all be prepping to shave our heads, and beginning work on our cellulite. I made chocolate cupcakes over the weekend, so I know I've been working on mine. Anyway, now that school is over, I feel as if I'm slipping into the abyss. Summer is a drag. If I didn't have to think about going to school, I would make a sincere wish for it to be fall. Summer clothes and I do not go together. I like layering, and cardigans. I absolutely loathe swimsuits and flip flops. The only thing to do now is to make a small Hit or Miss list. Hit
Natalia Vodianova on the cover of July Vogue
I like to think that the Wintourosaurus did this especially for me in honor of my birthday month. This is quite a big thing for Vogue, having a model not featured somewhere in the magazine on the cover. The only problem I have is that Natalia looks like a frog in the shot[she does have a certain frog-like quality to her sometimes...ribbit, Natalia, ribbit!]. Seriously, you think you guys could have given the poor girl the right lipstick color?Miss
Modeling Scams-they're a total bum-out.
Earlier, I was watching that Lifetime movie 'Selling Innocence' for the 3rd or 4th time, and I felt the need to voice my concern. Here we have a movie about a greasy-haired, pink-hating, way-too-short-for-modeling girl with great
bone structure getting scammed by an evil con artist/"model" scout. I wish I had screen caps because that movie is just too golden. Mia is scouted in a mall, while watching a local talent contest full of under dressed pre-teens, shaking their leather clad butts in the predominantly male judges' faces. When Mia and her mother arrive at the agency, there are fake magazine covers plastered all over the walls, and some ugly short girls in the back room in their bad 90's outfits, just waiting to suck another girl into their tangled web of super-porno-stardom[later we find out that they get a bonus for putting on the act for the new girls!]. What baffles me is, how
in the world did Mia get scammed? It's not that hard to figure out, even for the non-fashion mag obsessed people; use your common sense! When the guy asks you to start spreading your legs in lingerie, do you think there's a chance that he's trying to sell your cooter to the fat-bald-man world?? Oi vey. My favorite part? When the agent suckers the naive teenager into doing a live chat[all with reputable agents and clients, of course], he says "You think that Cindy Crawford has never done a live chat?" Hmm, I dunno, considering that Cindy was at the height of her fame when computers didn't rule the universe, I'm going to say that's a no
. Lifetime movies rule my life, and it's going to stay that way. They teach important life lessons, everyone should watch them!Hit
Goldie Hawn in Houseitter
This is such a fun movie, but for the duration Goldie is running around in leggings and oversized sweatshirts, which is fine for hanging out at home in. I'm wearing hot pink zebra print leggings right now, actually. They were for my Halloween costume last year, and they're surprisingly comfy for when you're not setting foot outside of the house...ok, so it's still all kinds of embarrassing to admit that. Whatever. Then there were the scenes that got me thinking about the type of things Goldie's character Gwen wore[or would wear]:
1.American Apparel Two-Toned Fitted Mini Dress
This dress is kind of like High-Waisted for Dummies, and I'm so in love with it. However, the only way you'd get away with wearing this dress is if you have a great body, and you weren't afraid of VPL. So basically, I wouldn't be able to wear this since the cupcake binge doesn't show any signs of slowing down. Damn. 2.Girlprops Cat Eye Sunglasses
-Gwen sports slim red sunglasses throughout most of the movie, and it kind of made me want to try them out and break away from the squarer shaped kind I've been adoring recently.
3. Urban Outfitters Dancerteria Knot Headwrap
-This movie has done wonderful things for my shopping morale; it's made me fall in love with this type of head wrap all over again. Since headbands never fit my head[they always give me migraines], I'm in love with headscarves and cloth head wraps. Now if only I could learn how to fasten them myself...And just for fun.
You'd be making this face too if some floozy in a pastel colored jacket was trying to steal your man. Miss
Marie Antoinette-please, let it die.
WE GET IT, COPPOLA. You're a master cinematographer. You make beautiful movies-nay[even MORE kudos to Emma for correcting my cupcake-summer-induced grammar]-films
that everyone adores. Except me. You can take the snooze-fest that was Marie Antoinette and go cry in a hole with Nick Carter[my favorite new insult, kudos to Emma
]. The soundtrack was boring, the drama you tried to create was boring, KiKi Dunst was boring, the guy who played Louis was boring, the people with the fiery torches just waiting to kill Marie were boring, the 'pretty' things in the movie were boring
. OHMYGODPRETTYFLOWERSANDCAKESANDDECORATIONS=GREAT MOVIE, RIGHT? Wrong. Very, very wrong.
Mmmm, how stimulating. A lesson well learned, I guess the secret to a successful movie is not through the plot, or the acting; it's through how many pretty deserts you can shove into one scene.
PS:Emma made me do it.
You know how I love those macros.
Labels: Goldie Hawn, hit or miss, lifetime movies, The Wintourosaurus