Tuesday, April 24, 2007

The Cool Points Are Out the Window, And You've Got Me All Twisted Up in The Game

My house is kind of Creepshow-esque right now, and by Creepshow-esque I totally mean They're Creeping Up On You!-esque. My house is a gaping portal of doom, and all these gnarly[yes, gnarly] bugs keep showing up everywhere. I do not do very well when dealing with bugs, and I've only just gotten over my fear of killing the smaller ones without the aid of Raid[unintentional rhymes, for the win]. Literally a bug just flew over my head, and I had to stop typing this and kill it. I'm too scared to go upstairs to my room, where just my luck, they seem to love to hang, I'm going to use my old picture of Missbehave to make this post even though I wanted to use the new issue. Asshole bugs always ruining things for me. [A/N-I actually did go upstairs to get the magazines after I wrote this, and ended up falling down my stairs in the process. It was pretty graceful, thus proving the fact that I should really learn to trust my instincts about things like this.]

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I'll be honest-I don't have that many issues of Nylon[I'm guilty of getting it just around the time of the myspace issue, and subscribing around the Avril issue] and I get the impression from die-hard fans that it was so much better than it is now. I certainly hope it was[at least those fans will have something to hold onto as it goes down the tube], because I think Nylon is boring as sin most of the time. I know it's supposed to be synonymous with all things ~*~*~indie*~*~*~ and cool, but woe is me, I am neither indie nor am I really that cool.

This is where Missbehave comes in. The writing it is delightfully witty, and the models don't look like a small gust of wind would blow the skin right off their hollow-eyed faces[skinny has nothing to do with it, most of those girls look like they're just come out of a coma and Nylon had photographers waiting outside the hospital]. They tell you what belongs in the 'Fashion Graveyard'[first it was moon-boots and now it's skulls]. They wrote about Christina Lindberg, Clive Owen, and Aaron Spelling[in letter form, no less] all in one issue. There is no annoying 'skinny debate' article telling you that in order to be a real woman, you must have curves. There was, however, a comical mock board game called 'Monotony' in the newest issue, where your goal is to MK your way to a size 00[it's all a joke, don't worry]. Missbehave is what's up, and you need it in your life. Cancel your Nylon subscription-wait, don't do that. The people at the subscription office clearly went into hibernation [seriously, they have the worst service ever] when Cory Kennedy left the building.

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Friday, April 20, 2007

Those Are Fightin' Words!

His Clandestine stuff is ugly enough as it is, I don't need it anywhere else.
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Why is there a deformed dog on the front of the shirt? Why is there some big puffy black thing coming out of the side of her neck like a big tumor? Why Sweet Jesus, WHY IS THE UGLY INVADING EVERYTHING?

I was going to make a nice, civilized post about my love for Missbehave magazine, but no. This had to be said.


Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Tyra Banks, Urban Outfitters, and Deception

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Tyra Banks is one classy lady.

The Tyra Banks photo was completely irrevelvant to the post, but it made me laugh regardless. *ANTM SPOILER ALERT*I REALLY MEAN IT, THERE'S A SPOILER IN THERE. I'm so glad Jael is gone. She makes me think of the kind of girl that everyone else loves but I secretly hate. And she sounded like a pothead 75% of the time, even it was a sweet pothead. I'm totally on Team Wholahay/Dionne!*ANTM SPOILER ALERT*

For about four months now [well it feels like four months, but it really could be about four weeks. Moving in the middle of a school year completely warps your sense of time-keeping.] I've wanted those colored jeans/pants from Urban Outfitters. Many a night I lie/lay/lain awake dreaming of those pants. Specifically some red ones.

Last weekend, my mother was kind enough to take me all the way to biggest mall around so we could go to Urban Outfitters and buy the jeans. We worked our way to the store, and as soon as I approached, I saw the rack of colored pants/jeans. My heart-beat speds up and my stomach tingles with elation[can stomachs do that?]. The scene ends as we fade out on me picking up pairs in peach, blue, purple, yellow, and black. They had no red in my size, but I am not deterred since the rest look like they'll be lovely. Fade out.

Skip a few scenes to when we open in on me, grinding my teeth and grumbling angrily in the dressing room. It's not that they don't fit, because they do;but they look off. Not bad...but certainly not good either. They're lumpy, bumpy, and incredibly stiff. I rip them off, and storm out of the dressing room. Then I proclaim to my mother that California Pizza Kitchen sounds good, but alas, I feel like I shouldn't even be eating if those pants don't fit me well.

Skip ahead about a half hour and one pepperoni pizza from California Pizza Kitchen later, I head bedrudginly into Forever 21. I hear that maybe, just maybe, they have some knock-off red pants in there. The nasty security guard comes over, taps me on the shoulder and shoves a 'no food in the store' sign in my face because I'm carrying a Starbucks coffee cup. Irrevelvant again, but this made my blood boil. The 'sign' is about the size of a standard piece of printer paper:who is going to see that??? But I digress-I '86 the coffee and wander inside, only to discover red pants. I'm overcome with feelings of happiness in relief until I realize they have none in my size. Shit. But, they do have red jeans in my size. I'm so desperate, I run to the dressing room[ok truthfully it was a leisurely stroll, because I had to make sure I wasn't missing out on any other nice clothes] and pull them on. Look at this! They fit perfectly! Heavenly and straight-legged, my legs look 10 miles long!

The moral of the story? Urban Outfitter can kiss my ass, because the pants from Forever 21 were $30 and the ones at UO are $68 [those are the yellow ones I tried on]. That's a whole lotta money for some crappy jeans/pants that didn't even feel good[because I actually have seen them look nice on other people]. I'll admit, the pants felt worlds better than the jeans, but the wrinkly I-Don't-Ever-Iron-My-Clothes look is just not my thing.

PS:Can I write about Sarah Morrison next time? Or is that too awkward? She has a fan site on myspace, so I'd say she's fair game.

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Sunday, April 15, 2007

Where Is My Mind?

I have come to the conclusion that I am one of the most disorganized persons in the world. Although, I don't think I'm as bad as the people on 'How Clean is Your House?' because I don't have strange little creatures growing all over my room. I swear I'm not dirty, just hopelessly cluttered.

To prove my point, here is a picture of my room the Land of the Unkempt.
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Note-This is only my temporary room. And yes, I was watching Reba on Lifetime because in the deep core of my soul, there's a spunky red-headed mother with a southern accent waiting to be unleashed.
This was taken about two weeks ago, and I've cleaned up since that time. It remained nice and tidy for just about a day. I don't know what exactly happens that fuels this vicious cycle, but I think it all starts when I'm trying on clothing to go out in. I'll pull a pair of pants or something off the hanger, hold them up to myself, think for a little while, and discard them onto the floor almost immediately.

I promise, there is a point about to pop up somewhere. You know when you see something in a magazine/online/etc and you've just got to have it? But then when you go to the shops with that specific thing in mind, promising yourself that you'll stay focused on just buying that one thing, you come home with a big pile of crap [even if it's cute crap] that doesn't even come close to what you set out to find? This kind of thing is exactly why you need to make a fashion planner.

I'll be completely honest in saying that I got this idea from a post in the livejournal called 'Organizers' where this girl posted about her fashion planner. It's a brilliant idea, and it keeps all your great outfit ideas/inspirations in one place, and it manages to keep even the most disorganized people from the aformentioned shopping dilemma.

Here are some horribly scanned pictures from my planner[horribly scanned because Dell scanners are all kinds of suck], just because I felt like I needed to include visual aids.
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I may have a treacherous room, but at least the fashion aspect of my life will never be in such a shamble. This should tell you all you need to know about where my priorities lie in life.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

What's In The Basket?

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Remember that movie Basketcase where the one dude is carrying around his deformed siamese twin in a basket and seeking revenge on those who seperated them? That's the first thing that came to mind when I saw this bag...if that's even what you call it. [It almost makes me want to go out and see if that movie is still around at the Hollywood Video] If this is an actual, real bag, I want one. Only not really, because that thing [dinosaur or dragon???] on top is creeping me out.

I know no one is interested in this but I have a fanny pack-ish thing now! I bought it ages ago from some sale post on LJ, and it's technically supposed to be a shoulder bag but it works this way too. I found it chillin' in the back of my closet under a pile of other bags. My closet is amazing for things like that. Whenever you go in, you never know what you'll find lurking in the back. I should go check and see if I already have one of these bags/a siamese twin tucked away somewhere.

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