Monday, October 23, 2006

Dedicated To a Higher Purpose

Much to my dismay, I couldn't make fun of ANTM this week. Everyone was too cute for words, and I actually liked the photoshoot. EVEN TY TY WAS KIND OF SWEET. In a weird slightly schizophrenic 'den mother' way.
Then for the better part of Thursday and most of Friday, my internet decided to commit suicide, I couldn't post then.
[My computer is more emo than every scenster on Myspace!]

So to make up for all that lost time, I thought I'd share one of the great online-shopping wonders I stumbled upon a few minutes ago.

Patriciafield.com carries a ton of 1337[NERD ALERT] stuff that I'm already in love with.

There's this adorable $26 cotton 'Drifter' tank top that comes in two different prints-one of origami[it calls it something else but I think it looks like origami, to be honest] and hearts and crowns. The dinosaur pattern is all sold out. Big shocker there!

To be perfectly frank, I'm sick of dinosaurs. I wanted to be an Archeologist/Paleontologist when I was five and they weren't even trendy. I mean when I was in first grade I went to Disney's Animal Kindgom all excited for the dinosaur rides and the one place there you could 'dig' dinosaur bones.
Now I'm older and they're suddenly all...cool? Why do people even like dinosaurs that much? I mean if you talk to 90% of the girls/boys that wear them like a badge of style, they don't know any more about dinos than the Land Before Time movies taught them.
The same thing with robots. AND GLOOMY BEARS.
Gloomy bears are the worst. They pervert everything a teddy bear should be.
CUTE AND FUZZY NOT GLOOMY AND BLOODY, OKAY?
Save that mess for my zombie movies and keep it out of the teddys!

Whatever. Moving along.
Don't you love the Marc Jacobs watch necklace things? You know what I'm talking about-they come in like fruit shapes like pears and apples? [Look at how crafty I am with technical terms! But really someone should tell me what they're called. Maybe I'll just google it.]
Even if you don't I have to say they're super cute, and also probably super expensive.
Marc Jacobs? Expensive?
Go figure!

But if you had your heart set on an apple, you can get a Kenneth Jay Lane one [minus the built-in watch] without dropping some serious green. Sure, they're 80 bucks but I think that's just a little better than what Marc Jacobs costs. Besides, white is such a nice color that goes with anything and the blue is not too bright or dark that it wouldn't go with any outfit. It comes in red too but I guess they just don't have a picture.

This is more of a wish list item because of the $96 price tag. I have no idea why it's so expensive.

The first thing that came to mind when I saw this was Showstopper-you know-the Danity Kane song? I'm sorry but that song is so addictive. It doesn't help I religiously followed the Making the Band 3 series from the very first episode. Well I had to make sure Aubrey and Aundrea were going to make it! And after that...I guess now you can say I'm some sort of mini-fan.
All my girls in the rainbow cadillacs, YEAH.
.....
Anyway, I don't know-but this bag looks like it might look a little cheap in person. Not cheap in a bad way-just kind of....well it's no knock off Balenciaga like the ones they've been pedaling at Target. Oh and did you know Target is in some serious hot water with about 4536437437 designer companies for selling replicas of their stuff? I think TokiDoki was the most recent. Target you need to get your butt in GEAR and stop ripping people off.

This is another perfect example of something that's deliciously tacky! No one would have one like it. And it's great if you're a Cadillac fan! Lame, but true. There's this one sophmore in my environmental/earth science class that told us about how her parents named her and all her sisters after cars. True story. Maybe on Wednesday I'll tell her about this bag. It would make a smokin' Mothers/Fathers day gift? Yes/No?

Oooh and last but not least let's all buy these shirts as stocking stuffers and send them to each other at Christmas/Hannukah/Whatever you celebrate!

Buwhaha.
That would take major guts to wear. But if I ever saw anyone wearing that I'd think I'd have to marry them. Or if it was a girl I'd have to get a 'civil union'.
Oy I don't want to start a big gay marriage debate in my comments so let's just leave it there, fair enough?

Labels: , , , , , , ,

Sunday, October 08, 2006

If I Tell A Joke, You've Probably Heard It Before

It's 1:15am here on a Sunday night[or is it considered morning?] as I'm starting to type this up, and I'm rocking out to my mom's Abba CD. And by rocking out I mean dancing in my chair like a complete loser. I love how if you listen to that Gimme Gimme Gimme song the beginning sounds like Madonna ripped them off in that dumb song Hung Up. Oooh look at me I called Madonna and her song dumb! Oh hell, I call everyone 'dumb' but I seriously have five degrees of angst toward her. Material Girl and Crazy for You are the only songs I listen to[and enjoy] that she's done.
In fact, I think Blondie makes a better Madonna, don't you?

Look at those legs-YOU BETTER WORK IT, GIRL!
Photomanips make me all warm and fuzzy inside.

Speaking of warm and fuzzy, does anyone remember the old Jeremy Scott post I did ages ago? I'm feeling too lazy to go through the rigorous [cough] task of opening a new window so I can find the post and copy and paste the link into here, so I'll just mention it featured this Eat The Rich sweatshirt. Normally I'm extremely anti-sweatshirt because
a)I live in North Carolina and it's too f'ing hot to wear one[I'm from Pennslyvania/New Jersey so basically I stick out like a sore thumb amongst the sweater/puffy jacket clad citizens here.]
b)Sweatshirts don't really do a person any good in the body department, you dig?
This sweatshirt only proves there's an exception to every rule.
There would be great, and I mean GREAT perks to owning this tasty morsel of...clothing. Where I live everyone is all rich and 'blah I have a Hummer and you don't/Chanel is my baby mamaaaa/Abercrombie is luv*insert hearts and glitter and happy fluffy pink puppies*/etc' which is just plain silly because dammit when will SOMEONE AGREE WITH ME THAT HUMMERS ARE VILE THINGS THAT SHOULD BE RIPPED FROM THE HANDS OF MINDLESS, ENVIROMENT RUINING YUPPIES? Gosh I really know how to go off on a tangent...

Anyway it would be hilarious for me to wear one of these shirts. I'd probably get a ton of dirty looks from all the wealthy denizens of lovely North Carolina for promoting some sort of perverse cannibalism of the rich. And I can chuckle to myself sagely because they have more money than I'll be seeing any time soon...yet they're so naive and unfortunately they know nothing of the wonder that is Jeremey Scott. [I really do love all of his collections.]
Now if only I could get my hands on $225 so I could carry out my skillfully crafted scheme. Because I already have a short fuse about the obscene repeat offense at my school. It's this Button Babydoll shirt that every single girl owns. It's really very cute, but my goodness even the tomboyish girls who show up in grungy sweats have one! I had a green one during the summer before everyone started pulling them out of their asses and sporting them like they started the trend.
You didn't bitches, remember that.
Haha, no, I don't actually call people bitches in real life.
Alas, this is the internet where I can hide behind my shiny little computer screen and type about everyone being bitches as I nervously await a smackdown at school on Monday. But as I told my best friend Val yesterday, I'm a peaceful soul at heart. I really am.
Disclaimer-I think I was a little high on caffeine when I wrote this post. Now I'm off to look into the 150 Malt Shop Memories CD that's being advertised on TV. Hyped-Up-On-Caffeine-Dilemma, out.

Labels: , , , , , ,

Thursday, October 05, 2006

You're Killing Me[No Really, I Feel Dead]

Today I got the wonderful priviledge of staying home from school with a 101 fever and the worst sore throat you could ever imagine. So of course I'm on the internet checking my lj/myspace/etc, feeling like I'm about to keel over. I don't even want to think about the work I'm going to miss, therefore I thought I'd post here to keep my mind off the fact that I'm going to have a buttload of makeup work.

Just when I thought that the cloud of sickness looming over my head couldn't get any worse, I realized that perhaps the fever was starting to make me delusional.
Why was I suddenly overcome with this notion?
Maybe it was because I actually said I wanted leggings
-insert loud gasps/shrieks here-
Do not fear, I haven't lost all my marbles. The leggings I'm thinking of are the Coco Button leggings from Delias[not to be confused with Diddy's infamous 'coco butter skin']. Take note of the cute model in the green Doutzen tunic at my left. I have no clue why it's called that, but I like it because Doutzen Kroes is absolutely gorgeous and she's become one of my favorite models. But I digress. These leggings are black, simple, and they have a cute little cuff with two yellow buttons vertically placed on the area just above the ankles. Not one sign of mesh, animal print, or ruching here! Just a fun kicky way of wearing leggings, without looking like a complete douche. I mean really, I've seen a total of ONE girl at my school wear leggings and pull it off.
The Essential Rule of the Day?
JUST BECAUSE IT FITS AND IT'S CHEAP, DOES NOT MEAN YOU SHOULD BUY IT.
No idea why I started using caps.
But it looks pretty powerful, eh?

Labels: , , ,